Friends Part 1

Friends - I'm sure you all know what they are. Yes, they are those things that you need in life to make you sane. They are the ones that will manage to put a smile on your face no matter how f**ked up your day is. (Aside of course from the pet, kids or sex :) They are the ones that makes you piss drunk. They are the ones that drag you out to mamak stalls in the middle of the night to 'yum-char' (have a cuppa). They are also the ones (those extremely close ones) that can blackmail you with your personal life as they know more of it than your own mother.
Someone once said that in order to have many good friends, we must be one ourselves (don't ask me who, go google it...you lazy buggers). Another wise guy said that having lots of good friends is much better than having lots of money (I'm sure he was high when he quoted that).

So I guess I must be very lucky as everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded by them. I'm not sure how many of you have weird friends but since the day I stepped into kindergarten, the friends that I meet are very colourful individuals indeed. Let me tell you about some of them. As I have a lot of friends, I'm going to introduce them to you one by one starting from my younger days...

Back in my kindergarten days in St. Andrews nursery school, Penang, I use to hang out with this dude by the name of Kenneth. Both of us were the 'enfant terrible' of the class. If I'm Batman, he is Robin. If I'm Sherlock Holmes he is Watson. (Of course I'm the main character, this is my blog remember?). Our favourite hobby was to go around 'borrowing' other kids' lego blocks to complete our own creation. More often than not we would end up with really big kick-ass machine guns made entirely from lego blocks...and all the other kids ended up with puny little 'goodness-knows-what-they-were-making'. Aside from that, Kenneth had this weird habit...he cannot piss standing still! I vividly remember that everytime when we were in the loo, he will run around the whole stretch of the urinal (not those individual ceramic kind with the Bullseye in the center but rather those aluminium ones which stretch along the whole side of the wall). He will be running up and down the whole stretch with his wiener hanging out and piss flowing out steadily. While doing that he will be making funny sounds as though he is a fighter plane gunning down a whole army of terrorists outside of Baghdad. Pissing with him was indeed a terrifying affair as you don't know when you'll be hit. (I wonder if girls do that when they go to toilet together...that's the reason why men don't go to the loo anymore after kindy).