Poems

Having recently read a love poem, my mind had one of those flashback moments. You know the kind where you just sat there and stare at blank space when you reminisce about the good old times and a huge big smile appears over your face? No? What the heck...maybe it's just me that does things weirdly.

I'm not sure how many of you grew up listening to poems. Coming from a family that speaks just *Penang Hockkien* and English, I was exposed to a lot of Hockkien poems. Some of the poems really do not make sense at all. I don't even know why and who created them. (In Hockkien literature, we do not have people like William Woodsworth, Shakespeare or Epictetus). Imagine a poem by Lim Chiu Chooi or Chew Cheng Ong??? It's unimaginable!
*For those uninitiated, Penang Hockkien aka Northern Hockkien is slightly different from our Southern counterparts, which we so frequently hear from those people in Klang, Johor and Singapore. What differs would be the intonation as well as the words used. For example, Northern Hockkieners refers to ourselves as "Wa" or "Gua" but Southerners tend to use the word "Limpek". Using the word "Limpek" at home would result in a tight slap across the face. Northerners also use words like "chiak pnooi" (eat rice), "hip seow eng" (taking a picture) and "chooi chooi lang?" (who is that?). But for the Southerners, it will be "chiak png", "hip seong" and "titiang?" (notice that they make a lot of words shorter).
Scenario in a Northern Hockkien home:
Ah Boy: Ah Mak, Limpek ai chiak pnooi (Mother I want to eat rice)
**pa-da-pak*** (tight slap across the face)
Ah Mak: KANINEH, AH BOY CHOOI CHOOI LANG KAH LU EONG LIMPEK??? (Aiyoh, Boy who taught you the word "Limpek"???)

Scenario in a Southern Hockkien home:
Ah Boy: Ah Mak, Limpek ai chiak png (Mother I want to eat rice)
Ah Mak: Ah Boy, kwai. Tan arr...Ah mak gia. (Good boy, hang on...mother will bring)

Back to the poems. One of the poems that I will remember until the end of my days will be the one about fireflies.

Hoay Kim Cheh (Fireflies)
Hoay Kim Cheh (Fireflies)
Chap Goh Meh (It's the night of the full moon)
Chia Lu Eh Koo Wah Lai Chiak Teh (Invite your relatives to come for tea)
Teh Sio-Sio (Tea is hot)
Kia Loh Beh Kin Chio (Take a walk to buy bananas)
Kin Chio Beh Kee Pek (Forgot to peel the bananas)
Kia Loh Beh Chek (Take a walk to buy a book)
Chek Beh Kee Thak (Forgot to read the book)
Kia Loh Beh Bak (Take a walk to buy an ink slab {used for Chinese Calligraphy})
Bak Beh Kee Bua (Forgot to grind the ink slab)
Kia Loh Beh Chua (Take a walk to buy a snake)
Chua Beh Kee Liak (Forgot to catch the snake)
Kia Loh Beh Kah Kiak (Take a walk to buy clogs)... this one rhymes in english :)
Kah Kiak Beh Kee Cheng (Forgot to wear the clogs)
Kia Loh Beh Karleng (Take a walk to buy swallows {a kind of bird})
Karleng Kong, Karleng Poh (Grandpa Bird, Grandma Bird)
Iang Soon, Iang Kia Lai Chit Tho (Carry your children, grandchildren, come and play)
Chit Tho Kiam, Chiak Kam Chia (Play with swords, eat sugarcane)
Kam Chia Tee, Chiak Leng Chee (Sugarcane is sweet, eat some lychees)
Leng Chee Phong, Chiak Tombong (Lychees are inflated, eat some coconut)
Tombong Kiam, Chiak Iam (Coconut is salty, eat some salt)
Iam Pek Pek, Chiak Keh Leng Nga Eh Tek Tek! (Salt is white, eat the Indian's tits!)

Usually this poem ends with a roar of laughter. Not a wonder...I'm still laughing until today. Whoever came up with it doesn't have any rhyming bone in his/her body. Not only that but it makes no sense whatsoever. Whoever would want to take a walk to buy a snake? And eating an Indian's tits? muahahaha. Really, I don't know what is the moral behind this poem. Maybe, it's to remind people to stretch the ringgit and not simply shop? Maybe, it's to ask people to be courteous and invite people over for a cuppa? Maybe, composing bad poems was a way to spend time before TV was invented?