Farewell fair maiden

This is supposed to be up on friday but the system was down...well, better late than never.

“Life is full of lots of ups and downs. But the distance feel further when it’s headed for the ground”
That is the excerpt of the lyrics from Tommy Page’s song. I couldn’t agree more with him. More so in this dog eat dog world.
I just gotten wind that a colleague will be leaving the company. It's indeed sad. But we are all happy for her as she needs to move on to greener pastures. Another case study to show that life is indeed impermenant. Here's one of my five minutes poem...I hope it's better than the hockkien one:

Though short, friends we have became
Just like a flower is your name
You leave, things will n’er be the same
Your loss is a crying shame

All the best to you. May you achieve success in all your future undertakings.

Poems

Having recently read a love poem, my mind had one of those flashback moments. You know the kind where you just sat there and stare at blank space when you reminisce about the good old times and a huge big smile appears over your face? No? What the heck...maybe it's just me that does things weirdly.

I'm not sure how many of you grew up listening to poems. Coming from a family that speaks just *Penang Hockkien* and English, I was exposed to a lot of Hockkien poems. Some of the poems really do not make sense at all. I don't even know why and who created them. (In Hockkien literature, we do not have people like William Woodsworth, Shakespeare or Epictetus). Imagine a poem by Lim Chiu Chooi or Chew Cheng Ong??? It's unimaginable!
*For those uninitiated, Penang Hockkien aka Northern Hockkien is slightly different from our Southern counterparts, which we so frequently hear from those people in Klang, Johor and Singapore. What differs would be the intonation as well as the words used. For example, Northern Hockkieners refers to ourselves as "Wa" or "Gua" but Southerners tend to use the word "Limpek". Using the word "Limpek" at home would result in a tight slap across the face. Northerners also use words like "chiak pnooi" (eat rice), "hip seow eng" (taking a picture) and "chooi chooi lang?" (who is that?). But for the Southerners, it will be "chiak png", "hip seong" and "titiang?" (notice that they make a lot of words shorter).
Scenario in a Northern Hockkien home:
Ah Boy: Ah Mak, Limpek ai chiak pnooi (Mother I want to eat rice)
**pa-da-pak*** (tight slap across the face)
Ah Mak: KANINEH, AH BOY CHOOI CHOOI LANG KAH LU EONG LIMPEK??? (Aiyoh, Boy who taught you the word "Limpek"???)

Scenario in a Southern Hockkien home:
Ah Boy: Ah Mak, Limpek ai chiak png (Mother I want to eat rice)
Ah Mak: Ah Boy, kwai. Tan arr...Ah mak gia. (Good boy, hang on...mother will bring)

Back to the poems. One of the poems that I will remember until the end of my days will be the one about fireflies.

Hoay Kim Cheh (Fireflies)
Hoay Kim Cheh (Fireflies)
Chap Goh Meh (It's the night of the full moon)
Chia Lu Eh Koo Wah Lai Chiak Teh (Invite your relatives to come for tea)
Teh Sio-Sio (Tea is hot)
Kia Loh Beh Kin Chio (Take a walk to buy bananas)
Kin Chio Beh Kee Pek (Forgot to peel the bananas)
Kia Loh Beh Chek (Take a walk to buy a book)
Chek Beh Kee Thak (Forgot to read the book)
Kia Loh Beh Bak (Take a walk to buy an ink slab {used for Chinese Calligraphy})
Bak Beh Kee Bua (Forgot to grind the ink slab)
Kia Loh Beh Chua (Take a walk to buy a snake)
Chua Beh Kee Liak (Forgot to catch the snake)
Kia Loh Beh Kah Kiak (Take a walk to buy clogs)... this one rhymes in english :)
Kah Kiak Beh Kee Cheng (Forgot to wear the clogs)
Kia Loh Beh Karleng (Take a walk to buy swallows {a kind of bird})
Karleng Kong, Karleng Poh (Grandpa Bird, Grandma Bird)
Iang Soon, Iang Kia Lai Chit Tho (Carry your children, grandchildren, come and play)
Chit Tho Kiam, Chiak Kam Chia (Play with swords, eat sugarcane)
Kam Chia Tee, Chiak Leng Chee (Sugarcane is sweet, eat some lychees)
Leng Chee Phong, Chiak Tombong (Lychees are inflated, eat some coconut)
Tombong Kiam, Chiak Iam (Coconut is salty, eat some salt)
Iam Pek Pek, Chiak Keh Leng Nga Eh Tek Tek! (Salt is white, eat the Indian's tits!)

Usually this poem ends with a roar of laughter. Not a wonder...I'm still laughing until today. Whoever came up with it doesn't have any rhyming bone in his/her body. Not only that but it makes no sense whatsoever. Whoever would want to take a walk to buy a snake? And eating an Indian's tits? muahahaha. Really, I don't know what is the moral behind this poem. Maybe, it's to remind people to stretch the ringgit and not simply shop? Maybe, it's to ask people to be courteous and invite people over for a cuppa? Maybe, composing bad poems was a way to spend time before TV was invented?

42 Trang Road, 10150, Penang

I'm sure all of you have fond memories of your childhood days. Yes, those carefree days when your biggest choice was what games to play when you wake up first thing in the morning. When achievement was trying not to pee in your pants when you're sleeping. When frustration was not being able to do things that the adults can, and to be reminded that "You're not old enough".

I wasn't given a choice on where I was to be born nor where to spend my childhood. But I thank my lucky stars (or my karma) that 42 Trang Road, Penang was the place...
My grandma stayed there. Together with 4 of my aunties, an uncle and hordes of cousins. Another aunt lived 2 doors away with her family. 42 Trang Road was like the point of rendezvous for everyone in the family. Even for those relatives who do not live there, they will drop by after work. Many a times staying for dinner. Who could blame them as my grandma was a fabulous cook and her peranakan dishes are to die for! As I'm writing this, I can smell her kua-la-la soup (Belacan and onion soup with watermelon skin) and Perut ikan (similiar to assam laksa's soup except that it has fish stomach, kaffir lime leaves and daun kadok).

Childhood is the time when I can be anything and everything that I want to be. With a change of tshirt, I can be Superman...running around the house with the short cape (length:from the shoulder to the buttocks) slightly fluttering. When I'm done saving the world from hunger (in this case dutifully delivering the milk bottle from my mother to my baby brother) , I'll open my little satchel and whisk out a toy machine gun. Instantaneously, I'd be Rambo. Running around the house hiding under beds and behind cupboards trying to ambush the enemies. Usually being Rambo will end up with me crying. The reason being that the enemies that I ambush will most of the time be my mother or aunties. And what is a standard reaction of an adult being scared out of their skin by a little tyke who jumps out from the cupboard firing a toy gun? A healthy dose of wallop, of course!

But as the Buddha said, everything changes. Nothing is permanant except impermanence. How true that is. My grandma has since passed on. I miss her but it has already been more than 10 years. I guess the pain is not that great anymore. As for 42 Trang Road, it's still there...but due to the development around the Komtar area and the rent control act, my aunties had to move to another place. All of the younger generations have also grown up and having our own lives somewhere. Scattered all around.

But no matter where I am or even if I'm far away from Penang...one thing is for sure...I'll never forget my roots, the people who have made it all possible for me to be where I am today. As for my family (close and extended alike) thank you all for such beautiful memories and a healthy childhood. As for 42 Trang Road...if only the walls could talk...my, what interesting tales it will spin...

The Two People You Meet On Earth

Today is Friday, and Friday is the happiest day of the week. You have put in enough work for 1 week to last a month. And at 530pm, the weekend starts...what's not to be happy right? Wrong!Unlike the people that Mitch Albom's Eddie met on the way to heaven, the people that Gavin met today was enough to put him in a pissy mood.
There are a handful of characteristics in a person that I detest, and unfortunately I had the privilege of encountering 2 kinds of it in a day.

The first kind of person, which makes my patience wear thin are those people who never stand up to their own decisions. They are the ones who find scapegoats when something goes wrong. They are the ones when in failure, will blame the whole world except for themselves. They are like the General who runs away when leading the troop to battle. These people are actually cowards who are afraid to face the consequences of their own actions. These people are worst than the dung beetle who buries itself in shit when there are signs of danger.

The second scum on the face of earth are those people who do not give up their seats on the LRT to the disable. Not too long ago, there was an advert asking Malaysians to be more caring. It shows a blind man standing up, unable to find a seat in a packed train. Then there was this young man pretending to be asleep rather than give up his seat. I couldn't believe my eyes, when I saw a reenactment of this advert in real life! There was this blind man standing up, holding precariously to the handrail...waiting for a jolt from the train to send him sprawling onto the floor. And what did all those young people sitting down do??? They just sat there with their eyes closed! Maybe their eyes were too tired after looking at the computer the whole day. Maybe they're worn out after a loooong day slogging in the office. Maybe they are in a deep state of trance trying to invoke their inner chi to bring out their cow sense! These are educated young Malaysians. People who went through the KBSR and KBSM module where moral was a subject taught in school. I dare put my money that some of them sitting down might have gotten an A for Pendidikan Moral in SPM. Some might even have Hons degree. They could be well learned for all I care, but failing to give up a seat to a man who reads with his fingers??? It's a pity...not for the blind man but for those who have eyes that see not.

Feedbacks.

I decided to send out the links of my blogs to people near and dear to me. Almost immediately, I had feedbacks! Don't be fooled by the 6 comments written below the first post. The number of IMs over MSN and yahoo were easily more than that.
The best (and most blunt) comment I had was "Chiak Par Eng ar siah blog?" Which after going through the powderful translation of Engrish, literally meant "Nothing to do until you need to blog is it?"
The constant comment I had was that these people, (whom I call my friends) actually are asking me to write about my steamy sex life. Gosh! They way they say it makes sex sounds like some kind of food..."Excuse me, one plate of steamy sex to go with my fried rice". Jeeze, there're many more things in life to talk about other than sex. For example, we can talk about the decline of morality in our society or even the birds and the bees for that matter ;)
With such thoughts coming from young adults these days (tsk tsk), no wonder Ripley is making a fortune. Here are some of the most offensive world record coming from the Ripley's vault that you'll never see Dean Cain introducing them in his show.
I warn you...it could be offensive. Don't blame me if it spoils your appetite...

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.

WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and Consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York, contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon(unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'C*nt Pump'. (Try to beat that Reebok!)

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph. (Somebody give this man an Olympic medal)

Jumping on the bandwagon

I've been known to be able to write. I mean, who cannot write? Go to school, learn 'Engrish' and voila...you are one of the billions out there who speaks and writes the second most popular language on the face of earth.
I don't know what prompted me to blog. Maybe I was just facinated by Kenny Sia's ability to blog until one of his entries came up in the centerspread of the Star newspaper. Or probably it was Furong JieJie's shameless acts of self debauchery that urged me to advertise my private life in the internet. Perhaps it was peer pressure having seen so many of my friends and cousins having their own blogspots. I'm not known to be a follower of trends...but what the heck, just this once won't hurt.
What will I blog about? Now, that is something I've yet to decide. Maybe a little bit of everything. A little insight into my life...a little about my family...a little on politics...a little on love...
Well as the title suggest, it's just another story and another day in this vicious cycle called Life!